Definitive Proof Against “Intelligent Design”: Hemorrhoids
One can disprove the whole delusional notion of intelligent design, the notion that an omnipotent deity created everything on Earth and made humankind its perfect possessors, with one word: hemorrhoids.
If we’re so perfectly made, why would God afflict the just and the unjust, sinners and saints alike, with swollen and inflamed veins in our rectums and anuses? What could be the purpose in His grand design for causing his creations general anal discomfort and extreme pain during bowel movements? The deeply indoctrinated might say that everything is part of God’s “plan,” and not for us to question why, not to question any of it. But for anyone with enough brains and will to fathom a guess, the only answer for why God created hemorrhoids is that He is a sadist and that He hates us.
Of course there are several more words that could disprove intelligent design as well. Tonsils and appendixes are among them. Organs that we don’t need but which can turn on us without notice, become infected and inflamed, and kill us, unless treated and removed by a doctor. Think about that: God threw these extraneous biological time bombs in us that will end our lives unless another human is paid to intervene. An acolyte could argue that God created both the appendix and the doctor with the knowledge to treat it, perhaps so humans can learn to appreciate life and take care of each other, but that’s a pretty demented game to be playing with His “children” whom He “loves.”
If I implanted something unnecessary and potentially deadly into my child, I would be rightfully vilified and arrested. I’d be labeled a cruel, inhuman monster, not a loving father beyond reproach with a mysterious divine plan accepted without skepticism. It’s been hardly a century, if that, that humans have been able to perform surgeries relatively safely and not kill their patients more than three-quarters of the time. For most of the 200,000ish years of homo sapien existence, people were dying left and right because of the flawed “design” of our bodies. We had to discover necessary medical treatments to save ourselves in spite of God’s best efforts to keep them from us and kill us. If one believes in intelligent design and that everything that happens to us is God’s will, then one has to accept that He intentionally designed sadistic flaws into us because it is his will that we suffer and die. That would mean that only Christian Scientists, who refuse medical aid and put all their hopes of healing into prayer, are the only ones who actually believe any of that. But how they can possibly believe in “God’s love” is baffling.
God cannot love us. If He did, he wouldn’t torture us. If one believes that God loves us, then they must believe in a warped, abusive perversion of love. There are parents who beat their children and claim to love them. There are rapists and killers who claim to love their victims. There are people who abuse their partners and claim to love them, insist that they do what they do because they love them. That’s not love. It’s a violent expression of selfishness. It’s imposing your will on someone that you should love, through force, through the physical manifestation of hate.
If you love someone, you care about their wellbeing and happiness, regularly putting them above your own. If it is true that God made us and that He is the cause and reason behind everything that happens to us, then it cannot be true that He loves us. If God did all that, and then expected, nay demanded, that we love and praise Him, then He could only be a tyrannical, narcissistic sadist. He doesn’t love us and it’s unhealthy to love someone that doesn’t love you.
If we have a creator, he cannot be both benevolent and omnipotent, he couldn’t do what he’s done to us and be claimed to love us. Everything that afflicts us, from disease and depression, all the illnesses of the body and mind, from arthritis to addiction to cancer, the obsolete and potentially deadly organs, and of course the cursed hemorrhoids, is evidence either of our existence being a biocosmic accident, or of our creator being a creature of madness and malice. Either everything in our bodies and everything that makes us what we are came about through the chance and natural selection of evolution, or it was intentionally, “intelligently,” cobbled together by an abusive lunatic unworthy of adoration.