Words and Phrases to Retire: GOAT

Everyone has got to stop using the term, “GOAT.” People have used it to excess, to the point that it went from being just annoying to completely meaningless and stupid. Calling someone “the GOAT,” meaning “the greatest of all time,” used to mean something.

If someone said that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, there wouldn’t be many who’d argue. Kareem Abdul-Jabar, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Karl Malone, Wilt Chamberlain, Kobe Bryant,and Lebron James might, along with several dozen others, and thousands of opinionated fans. But Jordan is one of those few for whom there’s a general consensus.

It’s subjective and very difficult to determine what makes one the “greatest.” And “greatest of all time?” How do we determine that classification for figures prior to any time in the past century? How can we compare those who existed in different eras and could never compete one on one to prove their true GOATness?

Opinions and semantics aside, even in the olden times of roughly twenty years ago, it was often used wrongly, by the stupid and/or egotistical. LL Cool J even recorded a song called G.O.A.T. on an album of the same name, in which, despite what past contributions he’d made to hip-hop, he demonstrated that he was unequivocally not the GOAT.

However, even when it did mean something, GOAT shouldn’t have made it into common usage to begin with. More than being overused, it is a profoundly stupid acronym. It’s like its inventor was so pleased to realize that the first initials of each word in a phrase made a word that they gave no thought to the word.

In what conceivable way is being compared to a goat a good thing? Who wants to be called a goat? Goats are ornery, scraggly bearded bastards with devil eyes that spit and scream like unearthly monsters and faint as a defense mechanism. They can also be cute and produce quality wool and nutritious milk and meat, but would you want to be associated with that either?

Enough with the GOAT talk. No one is the GOAT. No one should want to be the GOAT. Enough.